Thursday, 4 September 2014

I'm going to bloody China!

There comes a point in every boy's life where he's about to turn 50 and reckons he ought to do something interesting while he's still got his marbles. For many this may involve buying a motorbike, jumping out of a plane or getting leather trousers. Well I didn't much fancy any of those, and I'm still doing all the juvinile stuff like playing in punk rock bands and growing my hairy unfashionably long, so I thought I'd treat myself to a nice foreign trip.

I wanted to go somewhere I'd never been before, but I gave myself a limit of 400 quid on the flight, just to make it interesting, like. I was flirting the the Caucuses, the Stans and Central America, but a late night noodle on Skyscanner brought me an especial treat. £386 to Shanghai? On Air France? It would be rude not to.

It was only upon waking that I realised what I'd done. China's not really a place I'd ever considered going to, and everyone I know who's been there, shy of my Chinese speaking nephew who loves the place, reckons it's the most difficult and awkward place to negotiate as a floppy haired foreigner on the planet. Oh, so I guess a month was a tad too long then?

So what follows is a tiny travelogue of my trip, to show off all the cool places we've been to and you haven't, and also to give you the full run down of all the tropical diseases we contract. I won't post every day, because that would be tedious, but I shall keep you all posted by way of word and photograph.

Oh, and if you were thinking of coming around and robbing my house while we were away, don't bother. We've got lodgers in. And anyway, we've not really got that much that you'd want to nick.